The National Zoo Athletic Gauntlet
by Disco Ant
Summary: Lupin takes part in a zoos contest to get a wonderous treasure.


I wrote this story using these four random words gotten from a random word generator:  
swimming, spur, lion, unpopular 

**The National Zoo Athletic Gauntlet**

The event was unpopular with others in their circle. The men in charge knew this, but they needed something to draw people into the city zoo.  
The attendance had dropped when their beloved panda bear Chin Shin died of old age. He was the main draw. None of the other animals seemed to be of interest. They were all old and lazy, too boring to watch for even five seconds.  
This gave the ones running the place an idea. It was risky, but they knew it was wild enough to attract watchers.  
They would call it the Lion Gauntlet. Four people would start at the entrance to the lion area. A starters gun would begin the race, where the contestants would have assorted obstacles to get through before finally swimming across the lion's pool to the den, where the race would end.  
The first day most of the ones entering were drunk. Four of them were mauled when they tried to ride the lions. Two almost drowned, as they didn't know how to swim. The lawsuits piled up. But, their attendance went up five times their average, so they kept the event.  
The prizes were usually small, mostly monetary, and almost never won, what with the drunks passing out before they even reached the den. That or going backwards, leaving the lion area and wreaking havoc on the zoo visitors.

"This is a nightmare," the owner groaned, holding the bridge of his nose in frustration.  
"It's a big draw, though," the head of marketing said.  
"What we need," the president of zookeeping chimed in, "is to make this harder and leave the drunks out of it."  
"But the drunks draw the people in." The owner stood and paced the floor.  
"Maybe..." The marketing head paused, his mouth open as though he were going to say something. "No, no, that won't work."  
The three sat, perplexed at the newest issue.  
"How about we leave the drunks in it, make it longer so the drunkest drop out early on, and offer a nice prize at the end to entice people to join?" The president sat, looking at the other two, waiting to see what they would have to say.  
"I like that," the owner said, nodding as he held his chin in thought.  
"But can we still include the lion area?" the marketing head wondered.  
"Of course," the owner bellowed. "The lion part is the big attraction. I mean, who doesn't want to see people risk their lives by running around with lions just to win some prize?"  
"Ah, quite right," the president said with a smile and a nod.  
"The National Zoo Athletic Gauntlet," the marketing head said proudly, spreading his hand out across him as he visualized the title.

"Are you insane?" Jigen asked.  
This seemed to put out the fire on Lupin's idea, slightly dropping the newspaper he held. "But, look at the prize," he whined. "One of General Lee's spurs, coated in 24 karat gold."  
"Wouldn't the coating of gold drop the market price of the spur?" Goemon asked.  
"But, it's gold!" Lupin was even more desperate in getting his point across.  
"And you can only be drunk to enter this thing?" Jigen asked.  
"That's what it says." Lupin looked back at the ad in the paper. "Start at the zoo entrance, run past the Antarctica exhibit, past the primates, through the herd of wild gnus, swim through the flamingo lagoon to the lion exhibit and then into the lion exhibit to the lion den to get the prize," he read from the ad.  
"This is probably the stupidest idea in the history of man," Jigen remarked as he stood up, heading towards the door. "And I want no part of it."  
"Me neither," Goemon agreed, he and Jigen walking out the door.  
"Fine," Lupin said, staring down with much anticipation at the ad.

"This sounds just stupid enough for Lupin to join in on." Zenigata folded up the paper, sitting in the passenger seat of the cop car as he was driven to the zoo.  
"I've heard about that," the cop driving said. "My brother goes all the time to watch. Says it's great."  
"Your brother needs a hobby."  
The cop laughed and agreed.  
They pulled up to the gates of the zoo, the attendant very strict on their paying an entry fee. The cop sighed, pulling out some money and handing it to the woman. He drove ahead, finding a place to park, the two leaving the car and walking towards the entrance.  
"So," the cop said, looking around at the large crowd waiting at the entrance, "this is where they start."  
"Hey!" a familiar voice shouted. "Popsh!"  
"Lupin!" Zenigata shouted, glaring at the wasted thief as he zig-zagged towards them.  
Lupin wrapped an arm around Zenigata's neck, much to the anger of the Inspector. "Howsh it going? Hey everone, thish hersh my fren!"  
Zenigata growled in anger, grabbing Lupin and pushing him away. "I'm not going to arrest you now. To be honest, I want to see you get impaled by a gnu or eaten by a lion. And if you're still alive at the end of this thing, then I'll arrest you."  
Lupin laughed, smacking his hand hard on Zenigata's back before stumbling away.

The contestants lined up, some falling over in a slumber before the race even started. The crowd laughed at this, then went back to cheering on the racer of their choice.  
The man dressed as a referee rose the starter pistol, staring down at his watch, waiting for the exact time before firing the pistol.  
The crowd cheered with excitement as the racers took off. There were twenty five in all, eighteen of which were running, the others asleep at the starting line.  
Three of the runners started going the wrong way, falling into the crocodile pit, their screams of pain and horror unheard over the mad cheering of the crowd.  
The group stumbled it's way towards the Antarctica exhibit, one area filled with penguins and another with polar bears, even though they aren't from that region, but there because the zoo needed a place to put them.  
"Fuzzy bears!" one of the runners said joyously as he jumped the tall wall and landed inside with the polar bears. Sadly, he was never seen again.  
Two people somehow got inside with the penguins, each on the ground in a fetal position as the penguins pecked them, eventually to death.  
The twelve that remained made it unscathed past the exhibit, now on their way towards the primate enclosures. Three runners mysteriously disappeared while running past the Rhesus Monkeys, presumably added to the ever growing pile of stolen goods.  
The nine continued, Lupin leading the way as they came towards the pack of gnus.  
Lupin slowed down, deciding to use the others as a shield. His plan worked as four were impaled and flung to the side, Lupin making it through with only a small scratch.  
The flamingo lagoon was easy for the remaining five. And much to the disappointment of the crowd, nothing happened to any of the racers.  
The crowd began to boo the flamingos.  
The five made their way to the lion exhibit, running inside to where the lions lazily wandered, all of them yawning constantly.  
Lupin eyed the den. The prize was almost his. He ran forward, shoving the others out of his way.  
One of the lions had stood up, wandering over to see what the commotion was. He was soon punched out by Lupin, who swung wildly like a madman at the lion, nothing about to get in his way.  
Lupin jumped in the water and began to swim. He ended up wrestling one of the lions midway, the lion just innocently going for a swim when he was violently attacked by the drunk thief.  
The people cheered as Lupin tossed the lion aside, making his way out of the water and towards the den, two of the female lions standing in his way.  
Lupin stopped and glared at the lions. He then ran forward, screaming a war cry as he and one lion clashed, Lupin punching while the lion threw her own punches, knocking Lupin down a few times.  
The anger rose in Lupin, who was so close to the prize. He eyed the lions once again and then rammed them with his shoulder, pushing both out of the way as he jumped and dove for the golden spur.  
Lupin landed on the ground, looking up and smiling a huge smile as he had won the prize. But his smile quickly faded as the spur suddenly disintegrated in his hands, turning to a pile of dust on the ground.  
Lupin was sad. He didn't even try to escape when Zenigata came in, handcuffing and hauling him off to jail.


End file.
